The Adventures of Cap'n Crazy!
 
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Q&A/Message Zone
Posted:Apr 12, 2014 10:08 pm
Last Updated:Nov 3, 2017 2:07 am
128295 Views

Here is where anyone can leave me a message. Since I can't read e-mails, write something here. Wanna ask me a question? Get your answers here. This spot for all communications that you just need to get to me

So come on! Bring on the questions. Fire away!! Nothing is out of bounds here. What would you like to know??
7 Comments
I Can't Even
Posted:May 22, 2018 1:40 am
Last Updated:May 22, 2018 1:41 am
85 Views

Lately my job has really been bringing out my sarcastic side. I mean really. I can't keep this locked inside anymore

Driver walks in and says "I have a delivery."

I turned and said to the guy "You mean you AREN'T here for the Irish step dancing class?"

Another driver I told "Really? I wouldn't have guessed that!"

I told a third driver "Sucks for you! I'm here for the party!"

That was just today. I've come up with plenty quick little one liners since I started here. It's really helping my comedic repertoire
1 comment
2 Posts In 1 Day?
Posted:May 20, 2018 9:52 am
Last Updated:May 21, 2018 5:18 am
171 Views

Been a long time since I had a multi-post day. Unless you count days where I posted an update to my novel and something here on the same here. For the sake of the site Gremlins, who would probably eat my blog if they caught even the smallest scent of another blog here, let's just say they don't count.

Every soccer season, I struggle to get through what they call "silent sidelines" weekend. It's where they ask the parents sitting on the sidelines to stay quiet so the kids can hear their coaches better. Clapping for good plays is still allowed. But I have a hard time with because I'm one of those annoying, easily excited sports parents.

But not this year!

Being the assistant coach, I'm allowed to yell stuff at the players. And The refs don't give me dirty looks for it!

Freaking sweet!
3 Comments
Always A Daddy...
Posted:May 20, 2018 12:24 am
Last Updated:May 22, 2018 6:12 pm
221 Views

Always A Daddy, Never An Uncle.

That statement was true, until this weekend. My sister finally had her baby, my little niece. And to be honest, I thought I'd have been a little more excited. Maybe it's the lack of sleep and my brain just hasn't fully processed it yet. I mean, I'm an Uncle! I've been thinking all week how I get to be the wacky uncle that teaches the little all the terrible puns and jokes I know. The observational humor. The politically Incorrect one liners.

And the movie quotes! Gotta teach her to use the great movie lines. Let the good times roll!
3 Comments
A quickie
Posted:May 17, 2018 12:59 am
Last Updated:May 17, 2018 6:15 pm
323 Views

Just tossing up a quick update. Had my little meeting. Wasn't as bad as some people in my family thought it was gonna be. Still gonna have to deal with these people for the next 45 days or so. I'm going to do what I have to do to take care of my kids and put this crap behind me.

However this has definitely changed the "relationship" I have with my ex. She has already caused an issue and I don't anticipate things ever going back to the way they were. In fact, it's going to get a whole lot worse. But I'm not trying to get sympathy or advice. Im already on it. I just wanted to get it out.

Get it out. Stop stressing. Move forward. That's what the therapist I saw a few years ago told me. Just keep swimming to quote that little blue fish. You know the one.

But this post has gotten too negative and down. Let's add something up beat to turn this around. Spoke to a local author about the book I've been writing (for the last 8+ years). She wants to introduce me to her publisher but I told her I'm not ready yet. I know they like to push deadlines and I don't want to force my writing. I want this thing to flow naturally. I'm expecting to have to write about 5 more chapters before it's finished. I want to get at least 2 of them done before I meet with publishers. Because it's been moving along so slowly.

But I'll get there.

Let's see.....

I want to put one more happy little tidbit before I close this out. But that will have to wait for the mandatory 1st comment.
3 Comments
I Didn't Even Realize
Posted:May 4, 2018 3:50 am
Last Updated:May 6, 2018 1:44 pm
1107 Views
I feel completely stupid this morning. I totally wasn't paying attention and didn't realize what day it was!



Time to let my nerd flag fly! And so it begins



And one more thrown in for good measure...

5 Comments
I Have To Try This!
Posted:Apr 23, 2018 11:45 pm
Last Updated:Apr 24, 2018 6:17 pm
1788 Views

A friend of mine send me the instructions on a fun New game to play and I really REALLY want to try it out.

It's called "Get Down Mr President"

What you do is get a large group of friends together. One person starts by putting their finger to their ear like they are a secret service agent. As the rest of the group notices they must also do the same thing until there is one person left standing without their finger up to their ear. At this point all the "agents" must scream out "get down Mr President!" And tackle that last player. It doesn't matter if it is on grass, dirt, gravel, pavement or whatever.
3 Comments
Just A Little Update
Posted:Apr 21, 2018 6:02 pm
Last Updated:May 9, 2018 6:22 pm
1902 Views

Not much going on. Getting ready to go see a movie...

Don't even remember the last time I saw a movie in an actual movie theater.

Been looking forward to Super Troopers 2 since I first heard they were raising money to make it. I even bought a TShirt from them to help out.
4 Comments
The Urge
Posted:Apr 11, 2018 12:56 am
Last Updated:Apr 11, 2018 11:15 pm
2600 Views

You ever just want to haul off and smack a motha fucka? Either in the face or the back of the head. Perhaps you will use your bare hand. Perhaps a particular target requires something with a little more.... emphasis.

That is how I feel most days at work.

However, today the urge the deal with stupidity and lack of hygiene in a more direct manner. But I know I can't do it.

Or maybe I can just say "Fuck this bullshit job" and deal out some indiscriminately justice.
2 Comments
Poe-uh-tree
Posted:Apr 10, 2018 12:13 am
Last Updated:Apr 10, 2018 12:07 pm
2745 Views

Roses are red
and the grass is green
I want you in my bed
if you know what I mean
2 Comments
Politically Incorrect
Posted:Apr 3, 2018 12:18 am
Last Updated:Apr 7, 2018 8:08 pm
3326 Views

HOW TO SPEAK ABOUT WOMEN AND BE POLITICALLY CORRECT:

1. She is not a 'BABE' or a 'CHICK' - She is a BREASTED AMERICAN.
2. She is not 'EASY' - She is HORIZONTALLY ACCESSIBLE.
3. She is not a 'DUMB BLONDE' - She is a LIGHT-HAIRED DETOUR OFF THE INFORMATION SUPERHIGHWAY.
4. She has not 'BEEN AROUND' - She is a PREVIOUSLY-ENJOYED COMPANION.
5. She does not 'NAG' you - She becomes VERBALLY REPETITIVE.
6. She is not a 'TWO-BIT HOOKER' - She is a LOW COST PROVIDER.

HOW TO SPEAK ABOUT MEN AND BE POLITICALLY CORRECT:

1. He does not have a 'BEER GUT' - He has developed a LIQUID GRAIN STORAGE FACILITY.
2. He is not a 'BAD DANCER' - He is OVERLY CAUCASIAN.
3.. He does not 'GET LOST ALL THE TIME' - He INVESTIGATES ALTERNATIVE DESTINATIONS.
4. He is not 'BALDING' - He is in FOLLICLE REGRESSION.
5. He does not act like a 'TOTAL ASS' - He develops a case of RECTAL-CRANIAL INVERSION. (Loved this one!)
6. It's not his 'CRACK' you see hanging out of his pants - It's TROUSER CLEAVAGE.
5 Comments
Scouting Report
Posted:Apr 1, 2018 7:39 am
Last Updated:Apr 1, 2018 1:45 pm
3409 Views

I've made several observations recently that I want to share with everyone that cares to read this. So here is my most recent scouting report:

Several guys in my area have made profiles that list them as being female. Their usernames are obviously ones a guy would use. Pics are of men. Bit that letter F is hard to miss. Most likely attributed to not paying attention to what they are clicking on.

My left nipple gets hard for no reason more often than my right one does. No logical reason for this and any scientific hypothesise fail to explain this phenomenon.

Local traffic has seen a decrease in intelligence, courtesy, and willingness to obey simple traffic. Have contacted several tractor trailer companies to inform them of their driver's conduct.

Work continuing to deteriorate. Must redouble efforts to secure a new opportunity of employment.

If I squint really closely, I can almost see up president Washington's nose on the dollar bill. Does not appear very clean.

Lack of caffeine this morning beginning to affect sense of humor. Jokes no longer whimsical. Must obtain new fuel source.

End of report
4 Comments
The First Mate
Posted:Mar 28, 2018 1:47 am
Last Updated:Mar 28, 2018 1:48 am
3718 Views

I'm on the lookout for my former friend and mutinous first mate. Goes by the name of Vod. Vod Kaknockers.

Lol see what I did there? Yes I know I got that joke from an episode of Two and a Half Men, but it's still pretty funny. That's just the kind of mood I'm in. Chuckling at stupid jokes like that. And this one:

How much wood could a woodchuck chuck if a woodchuck could Chuck Norris? All of it.

Or the time I changed my name on the face place to Ben Efits and sent out friend requests to a bunch of people. I thought it was hilarious.

But my sense of humor isn't for everyone. And I don't care
1 comment

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Most Recent Comments by Others

Post Poster Post Date
Always A Daddy... (5)lookinnflirtin
May 21, 2018 9:44 am
2 Posts In 1 Day? (5)LisaLipgloss
May 21, 2018 3:01 am
A quickie (7)Lady_Jayne_Layne
May 17, 2018 9:12 am
I Didn't Even Realize (6)KItkat1415
May 5, 2018 11:16 pm
I Have To Try This! (5)LisaLipgloss
Apr 24, 2018 3:55 am
Just A Little Update (8)sweet_VM
Apr 23, 2018 8:02 am
The Urge (4)Lady_Jayne_Layne
Apr 11, 2018 5:23 pm
Poe-uh-tree (3)Lady_Jayne_Layne
Apr 10, 2018 8:41 am
Politically Incorrect (10)KItkat1415
Apr 6, 2018 12:44 pm
That's What I Get (13)LisaLipgloss
Apr 3, 2018 12:47 am
Scouting Report (7)japaneseass
Apr 1, 2018 11:54 am